I have been having episodes of outburst of emotions. I realized that I don't understand myself at all. What do I want? What do i need? What do I have? What am i suppose to do? Who am i supposed to be?
To be honest, I have never felt like this before, i have to find myself, understand myself, before i can understand what other people need, and who they really are. I have been caught up in my thoughts, why am i always feeling this way, why am i always like this. I know i still have tons to learn. I have problems interacting with people that i first met, it takes so much more time than people usually do, all i do is to answer what people ask me, and i won't be initiating any more conversation afterwards. I know this may look like I'm some arrogant person who thinks they are so much better than other. I think im just socially awkward. I feel stressed up in crowded places, it makes feel sick. And i hate that feeling. Sometimes those pent up stress would lead to those outburst. I don't tend to tell people how i feel, unless i feel safe, and comfortable enough to express how i feel. I am insecure about how i look, how i dress, how i look in people's eyes. I wish i can understand myself further, what do i really want? I don't even know it myself. So, if you guys think im some weird ass, please do not misunderstood for who i am. Because i really want to step out of that comfort zone i set up for myself too.